


you reach for the next step

by ohvictor



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, Gen, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-28
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-11-06 22:36:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohvictor/pseuds/ohvictor
Summary: Tsukasa stumbles over the next step, but he manages to sync back up with the music by the next measure. It is progress, because he used to slip up on the entire verse, and now he’s perfected everything! Except this one stupid move, that is.





	you reach for the next step

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tsuritsu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsuritsu/gifts).



> this is a commission for tenn! i've never written for most of these characters before, so it was a cool challenge! i hope you enjoy <33 the title is from tsukasa's solo!

Step, step. Spin, hold the pose. The hand movement— There, that’s it. _Ah_ — Tsukasa stumbles over the next step, but he manages to sync back up with the music by the next measure.

It is progress, because he used to slip up on the entire verse, and now he’s perfected everything! Except this one stupid move, that is.

He’s lost his focus now. Tsukasa pauses the music, leaning against the wall to catch his breath and take a sip of water. He also sneaks a glance at his unitmates. Narukami-senpai is also leaning against a wall, using their phone—is that allowed?!—and Ritsu-senpai is...lying on the floor. All right, so perhaps Tsukasa’s senpai are not being so diligent with their practice today. That just means Tsukasa will be able to show them how well he’s doing... Although, wouldn’t it be considered impudent for the youngest member to show off like that...?

Well, he needs to practice nonetheless! A minute’s rest is long enough! He sets his water bottle down and starts the music again. As he’s getting into position, he hears the door open, and looks up, his concentration breaking.

It’s Leader, a pout disgracing his royal face, and Tsukasa hates the way his insides turn cold at the sight of someone he knows he should respect. He should be happy, actually, because now almost all of Knights is gathered for practice! It can’t be helped that Sena-senpai had a prior commitment, but with four out of the five members, surely they can get some real work done...

The verse of the song Tsukasa’s working on continues to play. Leader cocks one eyebrow, his gaze fixed on Tsukasa from the doorway. “Hey, newbie. Don’t tell me you’re still learning the dance for this?”

“I—” Tsukasa jolts. Anger rushes unhelpfully to his rescue. “I have been practicing all afternoon—which you would know if you bothered to show up! And my _name_ is—”

“So loud, Suu-chan,” Ritsu-senpai mumbles from the floor. Tsukasa almost rounds on him, ready to snap at him too, but he grits his teeth, quelling the anger and frustration swelling in his chest.

But before he can come up with a retort, Narukami-senpai lowers their phone and says, “Now, now, Ou-sama, Tsukasa-chan has been working hard today, you know... He almost has the first verse perfect.”

Tsukasa’s face flushes with the praise. Of course, he can count on Narukami-senpai to defend him, always—

“Okay,” says Leader, and he plops down on the floor, legs crossed sloppily like a child. He flashes Tsukasa a wide smile. “Show me, show me!”

The change in mood is a slap in the face. Tsukasa hurries to restart the song, fumbling with the Bluetooth speaker he’s playing it from. He’s run through this set of steps so many times today. He’s getting it down into his muscle memory, and he’s done it almost one hundred percent correctly at least three times today.

And yet, with Leader’s eyes boring into him...

“Wow, you messed it up!” Leader crows, as Tsukasa trips over his own feet like an idiot and the song crashes into the chorus.

Tsukasa grabs the speaker. “Let me try it again! I had it just minutes ago!”

But this time, too, he can’t shake the feeling of Leader watching him. The feeling from minutes ago, like a colt finally standing on its own shaky legs, has been replaced by a feeling of wading through muck, or quicksand, sinking faster with each misstep he makes, each fumble of his arms and legs.

From the floor, Leader scoffs.

Something inside Tsukasa pulls tight and snaps. He whirls to face Leader. “I can’t practice with you looking at me! I was doing it just fine before!”

“You can’t perform onstage if you can’t dance with your own unit leader there,” Leader says, and he’s right. Tsukasa feels himself wilt, his resolve slipping. He glances quickly at Narukami-senpai, but they are on their phone again, and Ritsu-senpai is dozing on the floor, his mouth hanging slightly open.

And yet, out of all of them, Tsukasa is the worst—isn’t he? _He’s_ the one dragging Knights down right now. His senpai can perform this song. He knows, because Narukami-senpai taught him the moves, and he’s seen Ritsu-senpai and Sena-senpai do it too; they made it look so easy, so thoughtless, even bickering and complaining as they seamlessly moved through choreography that Tsukasa is barely getting after practicing all week. Their patience is surely running out. Leader is just the only one being honest with him.

Tsukasa takes a deep breath, and hits the pause button on the speaker. “Leader, if I...”

He turns, intending to look at Leader when he addresses him, but all he sees is empty floorboards. When Tsukasa was lost in his thoughts, Leader had slipped away. Tsukasa raises his eyes in disbelief and sees the door swinging quietly on its hinges. Leader couldn’t even bother sticking around to help Tsukasa. He came, and criticized, and left again. Tsukasa has been working so hard and Leader won’t even...

“Typical Ou-sama,” Ritsu-senpai yawns. The sudden voice makes Tsukasa jump. In the ensuing silence, he realizes the song he was playing is still paused. Tsukasa doesn’t want to practice anymore. He doesn’t want to keep failing this one dance move, knowing that each time he messes up, he’s dragging Knights even further down. All he can do is stare at the floor, as if it could open up and swallow him whole. If he gets eaten by the floor, he won’t disappoint his senpai anymore, right?

Across the room, Narukami-senpai stretches, letting out a pleased noise.

“Whew, we’ve all practiced a lot, hm?” they say, tucking their phone into their pocket.

“Yeeeah,” Ritsu-senpai sighs. “And both those other guys ditched us. Can we go now?”

“Oh, I guess,” Narukami-senpai says. Tsukasa looks up and finds Narukami-senpai looking at him. “Are you all right with us breaking here, Tsukasa-chan?”

Breaking, right. Because he’s breaking Knights apart. “Yes,” he says, praying his voice won’t tremble, and by some miracle it doesn’t.

“I promised Mika-chan I’d help him study,” Narukami-senpai hums, picking up their bag. “Ritsu-chan, why don’t you tag along? We’re classmates, after all!”

“Huuu,” Ritsu-senpai answers. He examines his nails. “Maa-kun is busy until tonight, so I guess I’ll come...”

“You can invite him along too!” Narukami-senpai says. “It’ll be like a 2B study session! I wonder if Koga-chan or Yuzuru-chan are around...”

Tsukasa’s listening to their conversation so intently he almost forgot to pack up. He turns off the Bluetooth speaker and places it in his bag, and hitches it up onto his shoulder, clutching the strap. He wishes _he_ was in 2B, so he could have an excuse to hang out with his senpai. Surely what they’re studying can’t be too difficult for him to understand, even if he is only a first year. Even if he can’t help them with their classwork, he can study alongside them... He won’t drag them down in this, at least. He already finished his own homework for the week—so he would have as much time to work on his dancing as possible. Clearly he needs it!

“Oh, Tsukasa-chan,” Narukami-senpai says, and Tsukasa realizes he hasn’t moved. “Do you have anything to do now? You could come study with us!”

Tsukasa looks up. Narukami-senpai misunderstands the look on his face. “I mean, you aren’t in our class, but it’ll be a nice preview for next year, right? Mika-chan and I don’t bite! And Ritsu-chan... Well, he has another redhead to bite, you know?” They giggle, then again when Ritsu-senpai scowls.

“I! Would love to!” Tsukasa blurts out.

Narukami-senpai laughs at his sudden enthusiasm. “Well, let’s go, then! Mika-chan should be waiting at the garden terrace... Ritsu-chan, you can lead the way, hm? I know you like to go there...”

“Don’t act like I’m the only one who’s ever been there,” Ritsu-senpai grouses, but he slouches out the door ahead of the other two. Tsukasa turns off the light as he passes the switch, and Narukami-senpai thanks him, which improves his rotten mood more than it reasonably should.

It’s hard not to drag his feet all the way to the garden terrace. And even once they arrive and settle down at a table with Kagehira-senpai, Narukami-senpai immediately focuses on chatting with Kagehira-senpai and helping him with his work, and Tsukasa is left to stare at the table and wish he had something sweet to munch on. Narukami-senpai invited him, so he knows he is allowed to be here, but it feels as if at any moment he could be reminded again that he doesn’t belong, that he’s dragging everyone down.

As Narukami-senpai leans into Kagehira-senpai’s shoulder and points out a section in his textbook, Ritsu-senpai lays out all his books on the table and proceeds to flop forward and mush his face against the pages.

“I don’t want to do this,” he grumbles. “Nacchan, move a little to the left. You’re a~lmost blocking the sun for me.”

Narukami-senpai rolls their eyes, but they do shift left in their chair, reaching out as they do to ruffle Ritsu-senpai’s hair. “You were a good boy and practiced earlier, so it’s all right if you relax now~”

“We worked so hard,” Ritsu-senpai mumbles into the pages of his textbook pillow, “and there’s no _point_ ‘cause Ou-sama couldn’t be bothered to stay...”

“Yes,” Narukami-senpai says, and Tsukasa watches their lips purse in a tense expression. “He was really bratty today, wasn’t he? I don’t know what his problem was...”

Tsukasa can’t help himself. “That’s... You really think that about Leader, Narukami-senpai...?”

“Yes!” Narukami-senpai slaps their hands on the table. “He was really mean to you today! He should know by now that you get nervous when he watches you like that!”

“Oh...” Tsukasa’s chest and face feel very warm. It’s embarrassing to have his weakness pointed out like that, but... It means Narukami-senpai doesn’t blame him for struggling...doesn’t it?

“You were doing really well before Ou-sama showed up, too,” Narukami-senpai continues. “I know you’ve been working super hard lately...”

Tsukasa’s mouth drops open, and he scrambles to make his expression more composed. “Y-You really think so...?”

Ritsu-senpai yawns audibly. “Yeah, Kasa-kun’s doing just fine,” he murmurs, adjusting his head on top of his books. “You don’t need to listen to that guy.”

“Yeah,” Kagehira-senpai pipes up, “I mean, I don’ know anythin’ ‘bout Knights’ practices ‘r anythin’. But Naru-chan says y’work hard.”

 _Narukami-senpai has talked about me to Kagehira-senpai_...? Tsukasa wonders if he could combust from too much praise. If that’s the price he would pay for receiving more, he’ll gladly find out.

“Ahh...” He puts his hands on his cheeks, feeling how warm they are. Leader’s words still sting when he recalls them, but he trusts his other senpai as well. If Narukami-senpai and Ritsu-senpai think he’s doing well, and Sena-senpai was absent so he abstains, then that’s two against one, so it must be true... He must not be dragging Knights down as much as he worries he is. Maybe he does belong here...?

Narukami-senpai laughs softly, their head tilted to one side as they watch Tsukasa. “You’re practically glowing,” they inform Tsukasa. “It’s cute how happy you get when you’re praised~”

Tsukasa’s cheeks burn. “Ah— Y... You should praise me more often, then...?”

This time Narukami-senpai laughs for real, their head falling back and their eyes crinkling cutely. Tsukasa likes this, that fond expression from above. “You’re cheeky,” they say, “I like it! Ah, Mika-chan,” they add, their gaze straying to Kagehira-senpai’s paper. “You should look at #3 again, okay? I’ll help you if you can’t get it.”

“Huh?” Kagehira-senpai’s brow furrows with almost comical intensity as he looks at the paper. “Aw, I thought I had that one...”

As Narukami-senpai bends over Kagehira-senpai’s homework again, Tsukasa glances over to find Ritsu-senpai asleep in his seat, his cheek squished against the pages of his book. No one is paying attention to Tsukasa now, but somehow that sick, cold feeling of not belonging, of holding everyone back, is gone, replaced by the gentle warmth of praise from his senpai. He sits back in his chair, his thoughts wandering safely now. If he tried that dance right now, he could probably do it perfectly...

But he’ll save that for later, he decides. Right now, he remembers he has some candy in his bag, and he can give Kagehira-senpai a piece, too... For now, he’s happy enough just sitting together with his senpai.


End file.
